Paranoia

Now it is a firm belief of mine that neighbors should be seen not known. This is not the out working of some deep seeded superiority complex nor some over riding distaste for people in general. I am sure my neighbors are all very nice people with valuable talents to contribute to the world, but I would prefer not to ascribe a personality to the various noises, please insert yelling and moaning here, and goings on around your average apartment complex. As it were, without a mental image I could feel happy for my peg-legged, upstairs neighbor when she was able to get her groove on. Whereas, another neighbor I met was extravagantly noisy enough that I could never figure out if something was going very, very right or very, very wrong and the disturbing mental image often kept me awake at night.

So, this morning I was running later than usual for work, and I needed to throw away the broccoli from last nights General Tsao's Chicken to prevent the stench of rotting vegetables from permeating throughout the apartment. On the way to the dumpster, I noticed that one of my neighbor's doors is open. In that I am usually the first one up and gone in the morning, I am generally unaware of when people leave for work, except for the stripper downstairs who works late. On the way back from the dumpster to my car, I notice my neighbor heading toward her car. This particular neighbor frequently walks past my oft open door. I can always tell she's coming from her clydesdale-like clomping up the stairs. Doing a quick mental calculation, I realize that we will both arrive at our cars at the same time, so I speed up and quickly arrive at my vehicle. As I arrange myself in the car, I look over to see where she is only to find her turning around and noticing me look at her. I freeze, then blink and look down. We made eye contact. To claim that I did not see her there is to claim that I am too blind to drive without very thick glasses. I quickly put the car into reverse and quickly pull away with the confidence that never having been in that close a proximity to her before, I will most likely never have to be that awkwardly close and silent to her again.

I pull into the parking lot at work, and in a fluster from running late, I gather my satchel and gym bag. I leap out of my car only to see my neighbor's car pulling in right in front of me. How the Hell!!! She must work here. How did I not see her car before. Well with the grace of a drunk deer turning away from mezmorizing headlights, I scurry as fast as my awkward social moment avoiding legs will carry me towards my building. I made such a scene that there is no way she did not notice. What were the chances of running into her twice in one day. Of course, my coworkers all hear about this astronomical coincidence.

So at quiting time, I left nothing to chance. From the ninth floor, I scoped the parking lot and did not spot her car. Feeling it was safe, I left for Wal-mart to pick up some nick-knacks. I head home from Wal-mart and pull into the very full parking lot. In fact, I only notice one spot open. As a turn in to the spot, I am horrified to see my neighbor exiting her car with grocery bags from the adjacent parking spot. The choices now are to pull back out of the spot and circle until she gets inside her apartment, pull into the spot and pretend to be listening to the radio while she goes to her apartment, or get out of the car and act like I do not notice her even though is it very evident that she is there. In that choice one makes me look insane, and choice two requires me to inconspicuously turn on my radio after pulling in, I was stuck with choice three. I spent the entire walk up the stairs looking anywhere but straight ahead where this woman was walking just three feet ahead of me. It may have just been my imagination, but she seemed to be walking at half speed. Talk about a painfully walk of shame for the previous days anti-social actions. You may completely believe I deserved it, I just consider it the price of living a anti-socially principled life

Salutations

I figured a quick introduction is appropriate for the beginning of this blog. I am 26 year old guy who works as a materials/optics scientist at an academic research institution in the Midwest. As such, I am in the unusual position to be in the extreme minority as a white male. For my first year here, the only other non-Chinese national in my research group was a Korean fellow. I was the definition of diversity. In this position I have lots of interactions with government, military, industrial partners. In my off time, I am an avid distance runner, a fan of philosophy, and an observer of international politics. I read more than fair amount, but dislike fiction, so I keep up with current events. I have never been a fan of talking about myself, but that ought to give one enough context to understand the perspective from which I write. Hopefully this will end up at least mildly interesting and/or entertaining.