Answers and Advice for People Who Did Not Ask For It But Still Need It

A craigslist missed connection,

We walked by each other and neither of us moved out of each others past. I thought you were rude, but then I saw your face slightly round you were about 5'6- 5'9" more of a medium build, and we exchanged a strange look. I went to the checkout fathest right of the store, and you came into that line and were looking at magazines. I thought you were a total jerk, but then realized I may have judged you wrongly, and missed out on meeting someone special. You didn't look like you were from OH. I had on a beige coat a huge bookbag, and had curly dark hair. [craigslist]

So, let me recap. Some guy ran into you, because both of you were stubborn and inconsiderate. He then looked at you strangely. He was short and chubby, but because he can read, you think he may be someone special. Then you describe yourself as the one dressed in the frumpy coat with that gawd awful book bag we sometimes refer to as the kidnapper's sack.

Advice and Answers: My guess is that when he bumped into you, he caught a whiff of the stench of desperation you are clearly giving off, hence the look of disgust. If you are tired of being alone, there are several things you can do. First, learn to write. The grammatical errors in the message above make it look like it was the written by a child. Nobody you want is going to find crayon scrawled messages sexy. Second, learn to be less judgmental. You did not get out of the way either. Third, buy better clothes. Beige screams boring. As a side note, you are probably extremely susceptible to Stockholm Syndrome, so avoid being abducted.