Death By A Thousand Paper Cuts

So, after a month of traveling seemingly to every state west of the Mississippi, I finally get back home for an extended period of time. With the highest of hopes to get back into the lab, I go to the office only to find that I have five articles to review, one paper to edit, one dissertation to edit, an abstract to submit, a poster to make, a journal to help run, and untold numbers of "critical" emails to respond to. I would say that there is no hope of getting out from behind this computer for two weeks, but most of this is due Friday. Oh-well, with academic freedom comes academic workloads.

Splitting of the RPPOW (Really Pretty People of the World)

One Tree Hill co-stars Sophia Bush and Chad Michael Murray have separated after five months of marriage. Unfortunately, this unholy show has out lasted this unholy union, and is further proof that pretty people are to slutty and self-absorbed to stay together. A pretty and an Ugg-Ugg (slang for ugly people) combo works because the pretty knows that the Ugg-Ugg won't cheat because who wants to boink an Ugg-Ugg, while the pretty can cheat all they want and the Ugg-Ugg will take it because they cannot do any better. An Ugg-Ugg and Ugg-Ugg union though is bound to fail, because who wants to boink and Ugg-Ugg and so both are looking to trade up causing justified mutual mistrust and self-loathing. This is why the the divorce rate for pretty-pretty unions and Ugg-Ugg unions are so high, and why relationships where one person is way too good looking for the other person and treats them badly last forever.

O.K. Show, Inane Game

An "O.C" video game is being developed (http://www.cnn.com/2005/TECH/fun.games/09/26/television.oc.reut/index.html). I like the first season of the show, but I do not think there is enough material to support a video game unless you can plan the untimely demise of characters you hate. For example, having a hoard of flesh eating gnomes attack and consume Marissa Cooper, but leave hungry. Or have the ability to slowly cut off Oliver's digits leaving him to bleed to death. There is nothing funny about this one. It is what I want to do.

Anti-Social Butterfly

It has been pointed out that people like to have me around in situations where lots of unfamiliar people have to interact. It has also been claimed that I am a people-person with a lot of good ice-breaking stories. I find these characterizations to be absurd. I hate talking to new people. The thought makes me nauseas, and I go to great lengths not to initiate conversation even with peple I know. I vary the bathrooms I use at work in random pattern such that no one will feel comfortable enough with me around to inspire spontaneous conversation. The only thing worse then having to carry-on a conversation with a stranger is conversing with someone that believes that a stranger is simply a friend they have not met yet. So when forced into a situation with a lot of new people, in a purely defensive maneuver, I identify and approach the most distant and disengaged person in the group.