A Societal Gentalman

First off, it is national chemistry week, so have you kissed your chemist yet? It is already Wednesday, I would hurry it up before all the good ones are taken. I'm just saying, I sent in my dues to the American Chemical Society to maintain my status as a card carrying chemist this week. I think $92.00 should get me an ACS membership card and a week of chemist lov'n. I mean I'm working to make your future better, so why are you not trying to make my present a little more pleasent with your tongue. Seriously, I'm not even that ugly. So, why are we not making out right now. Hell, I even swing both ways, in that I'm also a card carrying physist. Just ask the American Physical Society. I'm one of the few people who can say "Why are you worried that this is getting too physical, I'm a professional. In fact call me Dr. Physical" without an ounce of irony. So, why are you not trying to get into my pants. I'm even a card carrying optical engineer, if you want it freaky like that. I can do things with mirrors and pulse lasers that will blow your mind. Yet, you are not even attempting to claim your free ride on the Opie-go-round. Unless you act soon, I'm going to have to take matters into my own hands. Quite literally.