How I Realized I Lost Various Appendages

In a press conference, the woman who received the face transplant recalls first noticing that she was minus one face.

"When I woke up, I tried to light a cigarette and didn't understand why it wouldn't stay between my lips. That's when I saw the pool of blood and the dog beside it." [Slate]

Now, I am not privy to all the details around this case, but, how do you sleep through getting your face ripped of by a your pet Labrador retriever, and then wake up and still not notice any unusual pain in the facile area. The second question is what did she do to that dog to cause it to bite her face off. I mean labs are generally very friendly dogs. Finally, I wonder how many times she tried to put the cigarette in her non-existent mouth before she looked down at the puddle of blood.

This revelation has prompted me to list other unusually formulaic scenarios where one realizes one has lost a body part to various woodland creatures.

1. I went to stand up when I noticed my detached leg in a pool of blood next to a toad.

2. I went to lick some ice cream when I noticed my tongue on the ground by an innocent looking white tailed deer.

3. I went to breath when I noticed a pool of blood and a bunny ripping out my throat.

4. I went to shoot some heroin when I noticed my disembodied bloody arm next to a song bird.