Flaming Gnome Sex

Surfing Nerve I found this excerpt.

Hallgerdur Hallgrímsdóttir lost interest in sex three years ago. Clarification: Sex with people. This twenty-one-year-old Icelander is smitten with screwing elves. The Icelandic Tourist Board just awarded her approximately $3,000 to pay for publishing and distributing her book on the subject, Please YoursELF, because "they thought it would attract tourists to come" as it were "to Iceland." - David Sokol

I thought this concept was insane, but then I checked the visitor count on her site. If the masses want writings about amazing sex with mythical creatures instead of rather mundane analysis of pop science news, low level international cultural misunderstandings, and travel adventures who am I not to deliever. His name was Thomas. He was a gnome, but don't let the lack of stature fool you. He's a grower and I'm not just talking about in the garden. Now I don't like to kiss and tell, but it was awesome. The hands, the beard, the common everyday lawn-care tools. Good gawd, who knew you could do that with a rake and hoe. Now all you have to do is wait for the midwest states to give me ~$3000 as an advance to pubilsh these memoirs to get the full story of this torrid love affair. To be honest, it was more physical than a true spiritual/emotional connection, but isn't that how it always is with mythical woodland creatures. But I prefer that to the reclusive mountain dweller always who always seem to cum then cry - that's right Yeti, I'm talking about you. It's called Zoloft. Give it a try.

If I get a spike in visitors after this, I'm going to puke.