Cursing the Culinary Arts

I decided to make my mother a turtle cheese cake for mother's day. In that I am not capable of finely and coarsely chopping the pecans as the recipe called for by hand, I mean chopped is chopped right, I went to Bed, Bath and Beyond, and located the baking section. Before long a young male sales assistant asked me if I needed help finding anything, and of course the first thing out of my mouth is, "Yeah, I'm looking for a manual grinder for my nuts." He turned red and looked away, while all I could say was, "you see, I have a lot of pecans to crush." He quickly said that the nut choppers where one row over and scurried away. This is what happens when people unexpectedly initiate conversation with me. I take only partial responsibility for this incident, and blame the rest on unreasonably good sales service.

Addendum: To the left is a picture of the exact model of nut chopper I purchased. Please note that for safety reasons that it should only be used on nuts that grow from trees.