We will say anything for a job

I have to write a recommendation letter for a former intern that my boss can sign. The former intern is trying to get an internship this summer with Proctor & Gamble. While trying to find the address to send the letter to, I came across a web page where interns describe their summer experiences. It made me want to puke. They read like POW statements poorly written by non-English speaking captors and spoken on TV with a Luger pointed at the head just out of frame. Here is a sample and a link to the page.

My summer internship at P&G is astonishingly memorable with a quality of etherealness that provokes a vague longing to return. As my college career slows meanders to its end, I will proudly embark on the P&G career journey, hoping to reincarnate moments of my summer internship, to relive that beautiful summer once again.

I have to go and work as if the hilt of my master's whip was at my back, so please excuse any etherealness that provokes a vague longing resulting from this post. Sometimes I just cannot help it. Dang pungent etherealness!!