Open Letter Rebuttal to Possible Public Slander

One of my friends from way back in elementary school is giving the children's story at her UU church. Below is a draft of the speech that she posted. In that it is based on her experiences growing up, for which I was partially present, I feel the need to correct and or illuminate certain portions in which my actions may be being described. I have italicized the text of the speech below.

I have some questions for you guys.Who here has ever been made fun of? When someone laughs at you, or says something mean? (response, hopefully) I have. People have said mean things to me.

This is true.

And a harder one: Who here has ever made fun of someone else? (response, hopefully) I have. I've said mean things to people.

Also true. She wears bitchy well, but in her defense the individuals being made fun of rarely realized it.

When I was in school, I got made fun of a lot, because I was different. I had big fuzzy hair, and I had thick glasses that covered up my whole face. People teased me for that.

This point needs a little clarification. We did not make fun of you for your huge thick glasses and fuzzy hair. We made fun of the duct tape used to hold your glasses together, hence the nickname "Duct Tape". As far as fuzzy hair is concerned, it was the early nineties. A fuzzy rooster tail was simply a girl's best friend in sixth grade.

I was also a weird kid.

Hallelujah to that sister. Preach it on the mountain.

I liked to read, all the time, instead of playing sports or games. I always had a book, and I was good at tests, so the other kids called me a nerd. That hurt my feelings. Are any of you guys nerds? (response, hopefully)

Again, this is not exactly true. We did not make fun of you for liking to read. In fact, we were quite impressed by your ability to navigate overcrowded school halls without ever looking up from your book. We also did not make fun of you for any lack of athletic ability. In fact, you ran cross country in junior high. What we did make fun of was your need to read while running races. I believe I still have pictures of you crossing the finish line with a copy of Anna Karenina in hand.

And I didn't fit in very well at my school. I was different from the other girls. All of them were interested in their hair, and their clothes, and they all had the latest most expensive clothes you could have. My parents wouldn't buy me expensive clothes, so the other girls teased me about that.

I have no knowledge of the other girl's behavior, so I will let this one slide.

The last thing people made fun of me for was my religion. I would tell them that I didn't believe in God and they would say mean things about how I was going to Hell. Has that happened to any of you? (response, hopefully)

Are really saying that you hope people have told these children to go to Hell? I might rephrase that.

So I got made fun of every year.

Well at least every year that you had duct tape glasses and ran with a book, but I hardly feel guilty for giving you a hard time on these points.

But every year, there were one or two people who said, Hey, stop that. You shouldn't be mean to people. You shouldn't make fun of people or tease them. It hurts their feelings, and makes everybody a little bit sadder and madder and upset.

I have to admit, I don't remember that. I think you may be taking some creative license with the little ones.

And every time someone would say that, I'd feel a little bit happier. And when they would come over to where I was reading, by myself, on the playground, and ask me to play with them, I'd feel much happier. And when they'd come over to my house after school or have me over to dinner, I'd feel really a lot happier.

Or you would feel a little bit ashamed at your families behavior. Insanity is never pretty over the dinner table.

And I'd remember that it wasn't me being weird that was the problem,

Though it did promote the problem

it was those other people being mean.And that made me think, "Hey, people should stop being mean to other people."

Like not hoping people told young children to go to hell?

And I became one of those kids who told other kids to stop being mean. And other kids thought I was bossy, but they also knew I was right.

There was no "thinking" you were bossy. You were bossy, and you were right about ~75% of the time. But, we listened because of your freakishly strong arms from carrying those books during 2 mile races, not the rectitude of your moral positions. To this day, I still disagree with your use of the phrase "Go to Hell" around small children.

And sometimes--not always, but sometimes--they quit saying such nasty things.

We also just grew tired of calling you Duct Tape. I mean it sounds juvenile when your 18. But, Jo-Jo head is a classic that will stand the test of time.

So the problem with making fun of people who are different is that it is a mean thing to do.

Like physical intimidation isn't mean.

And when you say, "Hey, that's not right," you make the person being made fun of a lot happier.

I have found revenge also makes people happy, but you seem to be ignoring that route.

And you make yourself happier, because you know you've done something good. And you make your whole class or school or world a happier, better place to be. For everyone.And that is what we must do!

Are you going to be flexing when you say that, because again, physical intimidation is not nice.

Now please join me in singing the children out.

Please tell me that you aren't going to be singing "Highway to Hell."