Christmas Plan

My family is not close in the traditional sense. If anyone needs help, we are all more than willing to contribute as we can. But I am O.K. with the fact that I talk to my older brother three times a year including Thanksgiving and Christmas, and that I talk to my younger brother about five times a year. We do not involve each other in day-to-day issues, but keep up on big picture/life altering events i.e. weddings, new children, major illness, etc. This only becomes a problem during the gift giving holidays. The obvious solution to expressing one's love for each other without wanting any intimate details has been the gift card. Upsetting the happy balance we have struck, my mother has stated that she is tired of exchanging gift certificates for Christmas and is forcing the issue. She has been pushing us to develop a new Chrismas tradition. The ideas submitted thus far are listed below.

1. Petty Crime Exchange where we all write one small crime (a.k.a. slashing a set of tires, "quieting" a noisy dog) and place it in the hat and we each draw one crime that helps another with a maximum 5 year jail term (me)
2. Going around a nieghborhood carolling Nine Inch Nails songs (younger brother)
3. Seeing Joseph and the Techno Colored Dream Coat (mother)
4. Burning Disliked Friends and Neighbors in Effigy on their door step (father)
5. Adopting a needy family (younger Sister-in-law)

After heated discussion about these options, she decided to table the issue for a while.